My Life is (Almost) Complete

If I Tried to Dunk

This is what would happen.

Memos from the Legal Pad

A rough week at the courthouse this week. Among the people I spoke with:

- A lady losing her kid because a paralegal she paid $500 to do her case messed up her divorce. Paralegal is now m.i.a., refused to give her back her documents, and can't be found. Because of these delays, her husband has filed for a default, effectively ending her right to respond, and she will now probably lose custody of her children, without some seriously extreme legal maneuverings. That would require an attorney. That she can't afford.

- A mentally ill woman's lawyer refused to see her, even though her divorce was never finalized. We couldn't help her until she was able to get his official withdrawal in writing, but when she went to his office to get this from him, his administrative assistant threw her out. Gave her contact information for the State bar to file a complaint, but the last time he did any work on her case was in 2005. It might be too late to help her, too.

- Grandson came in with his mono-lingual spanish speaking grandmother because his grandparents were getting evicted from their apartment; he wanted to help them keep their place. The elderly woman was very upset and did not understand why they were being evicted. The grandfather had recently been admitted to the hospital with a heart condition and wasn't well enough to respond in court, as he did speak some English. The more I probed into their case, the sooner I found out the reason for their eviction was because of suspected criminal activity. On the part of the grandson.

- Man married 35 years served with divorce papers weeping as I explained to him his rights to respond to the petition.

I should do well to remember these people in a few years.

35 Before 25: Give Blood

This one is simple. There's a good chance based on my profession that I could end up ruining a few hundred lives before I get cast down to hades in my sleep, hopefully on a pillowcase full of hundred dollar bills. This goal would tilt the karmic imbalance just slightly. I give full credit to the Dr. House show starring Dr. House for giving me this idea.

If you're reading this, you should consider this one, too.

As an aside, I've been absent from this space of late because of a gnarly cold. My mind's been mostly consumed with not dripping snot onto strangers, but I reaffirm my conviction to providing you, dear reader, with a 15 second reprieve from your own uninspiring life. Be on the lookout for this weeks's newest feature, "Attorney/Client Secrets: Revealed!"

Phone Dump: Xmas Break

Get your effin dog out of my electronics superstore.



This is what you're supposed to do with animals you love.



And this.



One man's wii golf swing.



Northern California's finest awaiting his virtual turn.




A note left on the La Salle house whiteboard.



This is what was scrawled in a gas station bathroom on the road to Vegas from LA, as found on Christmas day.



Some guy outside of a Prius, when highway 15 was at a dead stop Christmas night.

35 Before 25: Bowl Five 200 Games

Last year for my birthday, I received my very own bowling ball. What began as a hobby quickly turned into an obsession and I probably bowled a few hundred games last year. Going into 2007, I only have about three or four 200+ games on my resume. That just won't do. If I'm to command the respect of my pot-bellied peers at the lanes, I have to become Mr. 200. My goal is to bowl five 200 games in the next year and a half. This may require me to buy some strange accessories, but it will be worth it.

A quick post to start off 2007

Back to work tomorrow at the courthouse, back to lawyer-apprenticing soon thereafter. It was a nice break, but I suppose I could use a new divorce to keep my barely teething lawyer fangs sharp.