2007 Dodgers Season Preview - Pitching

Here's the SparkNotes version of my Dodgers Season Preview for all of my friends who don't know much about baseball, but will be dragged to Chavez Ravine with me at least once this year.

If someone offers you a ticket to a game, check to see who the starting pitcher is. Using the guide below, you'll know whether the Blue have a good chance to keep the other teams runs down.

Starting Pitching

Derek Lowe - Throws a lot of sinking fastballs which result in groundballs when hit by the batter. Most days, Lowe will be as good as the guys fielding the groundballs behind him. Very good, reliable pitcher, in spite of the fact that he's the only guy still wearing pooka shells.

Jason Schmidt - A formerly awesome pitcher, still very good but expectations should be tempered after his elbow injury a few years ago. Could end up on the disabled list, could be the best Dodgers starter we've had in years. Poached from the rival Giants this past offseason, making any of his successful starts that much more sweet.

Brad Penny - Represented the Dodgers in the All-Star game last year, a testament to how good he was in the first 1/2 of the season. Downright awful in the second 1/2, but could have been due to injury. Don't know what to expect this year. Power pitcher who can get lots of strikeouts when his fastball is working, but can struggle to get guys out since he doesn't have a consistent #2 pitch. Second fattest guy on the team, and that's saying something. This guy looks like a lardo.

Randy Wolf - Went from very good in 2003 to average since his elbow surgery in 2005. They say it takes 2 full years to recover from that kind of elbow ligament replacement surgery, so he could be due for a bounce-back year. Or he might just be average, I guess. Bonus points for being left-handed an alum of El Camino Real in Woodland Hills. Demerits for going to Pepperdine.

Brett Tomko - AKA Bombko. Average to below average as a starter. Did OK as a reliever last year when we was demoted to the bullpen, but he's really just not very good. If he's on the mound, just hope the Dodgers are scoring lots of runs. They're going to need them.

Bullpen/Relief Pitchers

Takashi Saito - Far and away our best pitcher last year, even though he only pitched in very specific situations (ninth inning, when the team had the lead). It's hard to take the torch from this city's formerly most beloved closer, Eric Gagne, but Saito pulled it off. Even though he's 36, last year was his first year out of Japanese baseball. He was so good last year, can't help but feel that there's going to be some let-down, especially once batters start to see his repertoire a second time around. If he falters, we may already have another closer in waiting.

Jonathon Broxton - This kid (still just 22) is going to be the next Gagne. Fans already love his enthusiasm on the mound, he's got a great nickname (the Ox), and he strikes out a lot of batters with his wicked slider. When Saito is no longer effective or retires, this is the guy who's going to be protecting our leads in the ninth inning. Team award-winner for fattest guy on the team. Listed at 6'4'' TWO-HUNDRED-NINETY POUNDS, but when see him out there, you'll agree that's probably a conservative estimate.

Mark Hendrickson - He's really tall and he had a pretty cool beard last year. That's about all there is to say about him. This guy would be out of a job if he wasn't left-handed. He's just not very good. When they call him in from the bullpen, get up and go to the bathroom or get a second helping of Dodger Dogs.

Concluding Thoughts
The Dodger pitching staff could be the best in the National Leage West, if not all the National League. There's veteran experience, youthful energy, and depth in the minor leagues if guys start to get hurt. The classic Dodger teams always had great pitching to make up for anemic offenses, and this seems like a page out of that book. Injuries are a question mark for this team between Schmidt, Penny, and Wolf, but there are young studs waiting for a chance should they need time off to heal, such as Kuo or Billingsley.

There are other pitchers that I didn't list here, but I'll have them in the minor league/miscellaneous players preview section coming soon. Check back in a few days for the Position Players preview.

Checking In

Haven't been able to post as regularly as I'd like to between work, school, and my generally nomadic lifestyle. Currently working on a preview of the 2007 Dodgers, digestible for baseball aficionodos and dummies alike, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, this little video takes me back to a happier time, when I was nine. I think more people would watch sports if this is what happened when someone got injured.

Archival Footage

From A Very Special Velasco Christmas, circa 1996.

35 Before 25 Completed: Fix Up the Car

When I originally envisioned this goal, it seemed like one of the easiest ones to accomplish. After changing the oil and touching up some dents, I'd be on my way to fielding a revitalized smooth-mobile. The reality is that I should have been grateful to have had my car this long without any problems. Since the initial posting, here's what's drained my purse:
- Headlight went out, which for some reason can only be replaced at the dealer. For $600. Ye gods.
- After cramming too much stuff (possibly laundry and/or my wii) into my trunk, I punched a hole into my subwoofer. That should set me back about $200.
- Estimates into taking care of the cosmetic dents came back at $700+, as few places are willing to do "paint-less" dent removal. I'm not interested in re-painting the car.
Other minor issues have come up, but the ultimate result is the same. There's a good reason that cars devalue so quickly. Not even the most paternal of car owners can protect their car from the elements or the riff-raff that call this town their home. Or my own stupidity, for that matter. In fact if I lived in a place like this, I probably wouldn't care what it looked like. So for now, I'm shelving the vanity, getting some style, and putting my money towards my freaking passport. Fucking feds.

I'll chalk this first goal up as complete, but I'm going to be unsettled if each of these has a stupid motivational poster life lesson attached as opposed to a funny picture.

Of Prostitutes and Pastors

Prior to this, my favorite ebay auctions were for the haunted original nintendo system and/or the girl who would pretend to be your girlfriend for six months (much to the delight of closet gays and the patently unlovable). Ted Haggard's massage table blows them both away.

In case you don't remember, Haggard was the founder and former pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs who resigned after his secret gay sex solicitations were revealed by a prostitute named Mike Jones. Not that Mike Jones, but that would have been even better. Anywho, it was a big to do since Haggard went from a crusader against the homosexual agenda to a deposed power-bottom before Jesus could show up to destroy all his evidence. Apparently if you win this auction, you too can have a piece of Homo-Evangelical history.

Upper Class(men) Politics

I wanted to take a moment to congratulate my brother on his successful vice-presidential campaign. It's probably best that he didn't take my advice and divide the freshman vote with wedge issues like stem cell research or gay marriage. Focus on the positives, on what got you there. You brought a camel to a school dance. That's what counts in the minds of voters.

I'm sure as he was giving his victory speech, he was thinking to himself that it was this picture that mobilized the grassroots support that put him in office.



Oh, and the other guy won, too. It was a 142-142 tie. Should the school president be unable to perform his duties, be it due to terrorist threats or because he got early outs to go to his soccer game, who will sit in his place? We'll be following this situation closely.